BunnyLord announces PS4 release date for NOT A HERO (pt 2)
First and foremost there was the issue of getting the game to work on Vita. I've always considered the Vita to be a key political constituency, but making games work on it is incredibly hard, especially as it's basically a miniscule television hiding inside an obese DS4 controller.
In the end, we tried simply copying the whole game onto a 3.5" floppy disk and jamming it into the back of the Vita, but this caused dangerous overheating and one of our test kits exploded, killing the entire NOT A HERO Vita Programming team in a fully upsetting and totally avoidable fireball of nasty burning. Initially, we thought it was baddies what had done it, but it turned out to just be our team's own fantastic ineptitude. It was at this juncture our lawyers advised us to abandon the port and come up with an elaborate excuse for its cancellation.
I'm not going to lie to you, blog reading person, with half of our team exploded, and many of the others either incompetent or completely fictional, getting NOT A HERO onto the shiny, black, parallelepiped of gaming-based excitement that you call a PS4 has not been easy. When you want to put a game on to the PlayStation Market Shop Place, you have to pass a thing called FQA.
Now, as you may or may not be aware, FQA stands for Fight Quintuple Antelopes. Sure, they may just look like deer, but antelopes have like, seriously upsetting horns. And like velociraptors, they hunt in packs of 3. So fighting 5 at once is like fighting 1.6 packs of velociraptors.
Still, I promised we'd get it here, and, after many months of blood, sweat, tears and extensive, almost fatal, badger kicking excursions in Birmingham, we're finally there. We know that there's never been a game on the PlayStation that lets you use cover before, let alone a game where you can actually shoot a gun, or kill someone. There's certainly never been a game where you can play as Unicorn with 8 legs. You can't even do that in NOT A HERO. It would be stupid and possibly offensive to Unicorns or something. Anyway NOT A HERO is an exciting, octopedal-unicorn-free prospect that is almost entirely about killing things, in the silky-smoothest flow of murderous skill and shooty escapism. I'm sure you're all desperate to try out. In the meantime watch this video that shows just how mind-bendy fantasmical NOT A HERO really is: